Steps to Take Before Divorce
If there is one thing that almost everyone can agree on, it’s that human relationships are complicated. If only we could live in a fairytale, where after we marry someone, we can ride off into the sunset together. But the truth, is a lot of people get divorced for many different reasons. These reasons can be deeply personal or glaringly obvious, but in the end, it is the couple’s choice. But in some cases how do you know if getting a divorce will solve your problems? There are steps you can take before signing the divorce papers that might save your marriage or will help you solidify the decision to end it.
Identify Problems to Find Solutions
Sit down and write down all the frustrations you have about your spouse. They can be as petty or as deep as you want them to be, just take some time out of your day to gather your thoughts. If you immediately take them to your spouse, chances are going to cause more harm than good. So journal your thoughts and feelings and ruminate on them for a couple of days. Thinking through some of your problems and researching the solutions can be a helpful start to fixing your marriage. Maybe the cracks in your marriage were not as big as you thought, but you won’t know until you have a clear idea of what is going wrong.
I know it is cliche, but it works. Just like having a mediator in a divorce case can help you navigate through your problems, being able to talk to a trained professional will be very beneficial to both you and your spouse, especially if every conversation leads to a fight. The catch with couples therapy is that you have to be willing to put in the work that is assigned to you, not to just show up and say that you tried. It can be very difficult to open up to a stranger, but choosing a professionally licensed therapist with lots of experience will give you the tools you need to have a healthier, happier life. But going to therapy is not always about saving your marriage, sometimes it will help you see that you don’t want to be married anymore and that can be the better option.
Taking a Moment
This can mean a couple of different things. Maybe take a moment for yourself to get away from the stress, or you can take a moment together and see if you can work out your problems in a different environment. Probably the last thing you want to do is go on a romantic getaway with your spouse, but if it will help you rekindle the spark that you once felt for each other, it will be worth it. It does not have to be anything fancy, it can even be a staycation just for a weekend, but getting out of the house, away from friends, kids, parents, and jobs might help you see if that maybe your marriage isn’t falling apart, instead it is just outside stress that is causing you to fight amongst yourselves.
Getting married is a hard decision, staying married is a hard decision, and getting divorced is a hard decision. There is no guarantee that one choice will make you the happiest. In most cases, if a couple decides to get a divorce, they probably have already gone to through